Complete "Beside Still Waters" Devotional
We give thanks amidst it all
What’s good everyone,
Here’s the complete devotional (tracks 1-12) for my new solo piano record, Beside Still Waters: A Notes of Rest Offering.
If you observe Thanksgiving tomorrow, I pray this day a part grants you space to give thanks on those closest to you. I know some dinner tables will be tense. To help, I offer up this record and a prayer for you and yours - for harmony where possible, and for healthy disagreement where necessary. Take good care. God is here.
abundantly,
Julian
P.S. My group The JuJu Exchange is putting the finishing touches on our record Behold, and I’m going into the studio in a few days to record Vocation Vols. 1 and 2 with my other group Circle of Trust. 2025 is going to be rich. Stay tuned.
Beside Still Waters Devotional
Nov 5, 2024
Dear Ones,
Welcome to the Beside Still Waters Devotional, which is paired with my record Beside Still Waters: A Notes of Rest Offering.
I pray this music and these devotionals help us move through the anxieties of this season with a bit more rest in God. Released on the day of one of the US’ most historic presidential elections, this project invites us to draw on the confidence and conviction of Jesus to seek the welfare of the places where we lay our head. Psalm 23 reminds us that God leads us beside still waters despite the treacherous valley of the shadow of death we walk. Whereas music and religion can numb us to the presence of pain and evil in the world, this record and meditation on one of Scriptures’ most famous passages in US Christendom acclimates us to better engage it.
It is important to remember that much of Scripture was written by war-torn people. In the Ancient Near East, death – brutal death - was all around. Because biblical Israel existed on a thin strip of prized land on the Mediterranean Sea, there was ongoing tension with neighboring peoples such as Egypt to the south, the Philistines from the sea, and the Hittites and Assyrians to the northeast. It is safe to say that Psalm 23 was written by people who knew war, pain, uncertainty, and death. And of course, the author to whom it was attributed, King David, knew this side of life all too well himself.
As you sit with the text and this record, I pray the Holy Ghost meets you as present your fears and hopes to God Our Shepherd. Though the chorus of genocide, xenophobia, White Christian Nationalism, and authoritarianism sings ever louder in the US, God leads us beside still waters. Though sexual abuse runs rampant in the church and the earth grows ever hotter, God leads us beside still waters. Though trust in institutions of all sorts is deteriorating – the church, democracy, tech companies, marriage – God leads us beside still waters. This refrain is not to glibly slap a Christian bumper sticker on these sorrows, sins, and pains. Rather, it is a way to present our pain to God our healer and friend, trusting that God will walk with our communities of faith through these difficult times, granting us the fortitude needed for the work of the ministry to which we are presently called. Jesus died because of humanity’s love of death, but he rose because our death is neither God’s end nor ours. One day Jesus will return and receive God’s fulsome rest. This is a conviction of faith that grounds our life as we work for justice in the respective ways we’re called. May God’s rod and staff comfort us while we do so. Amen.
I invite you to listen to this record on your own and in community. To be sure, there is much value in listening to God by yourself in solitude through Scripture and music. However, most of Scripture was written to communities – not individuals - so it is important to read Psalm 23 in concert with others. In that spirit, perhaps the record will bring peace to your church groups and your Bible studies, your families and friends, even your neighbors. I look forward to playing this live for you sometime through Notes of Rest, too. The election and its frictions are coming, but so too is God’s goodness and mercy. Amen.
May God lead us all beside still waters. Come Holy Spirit. Amen.
abundantly,
Julian
Track 1: My Shepherd
23:1a The Lord is my shepherd;
God is first described as a shepherd, with the psalmist being the implied sheep of God. Sheep are vulnerable creatures, prone to wander away from their herd. They need constant tending to avoid dangers that come from isolation, such as other animals eating them or starvation. God being our shepherd means that God tends to our needs and holds us together in life-giving community. (You can hear the words “sheep” and “herd” in the title shepherd.) As you listen to My Shepherd, I invite you to bring God your thanksgiving and/or qualms with being a sheep in God’s pasture. Perhaps you feel content with God’s tending in this season. Perhaps you feel lost in this season or far from God’s herd. Perhaps you reject the metaphor of sheep altogether because you shun any notion of herd or shepherd. No matter your feelings, use this track to engage God around the image of shepherd.
Track 2: Shall Not Want
23:1b I shall not want.
This second part of verse 1 foretells the end of the psalm in verse 12, where the psalmist will live in satisfied relationship with God in the house of God (most immediately understood as the physical temple of God, more metaphorically understood as God’s presence). This bookend reminds us that life is all about moving into God’s presence who satisfies our deepest desires. By contrast, this election cycle threatens our stability as a nation and calls into question how many of our wants can be met by the government. Of course, the US has never provided for some populations wants, and so this season does not feel any more perilous than any other to some. But for many of us, the season we are as concerned as we are about this next presidency is because needs that we count on from government might go unmet. Let the specter of instability in our civic life draw us closer to God. It’s not to ignore the importance of government. It is, rather, to remember that no matter what this world gives or takes, there will come a day when all our needs will be met in God. Do you long for that day? Let that knowledge drive our advocacy, our resistance, our protesting, our creativity. Our longings can fuel our work with God here and now. Amen.
Track 3: Green Pastures
23:2a He makes me lie down in green pastures;
Even though this Psalm is about finding satisfaction in God, it is not about absence of movement. The rest in this text comes in our relation to the shepherd who walks with us as we search for food. In the desert setting of the Ancient Mediterranean world, shepherds had to constantly lead their sheep to greener pastures to keep grazing. Whereas today “greener pastures” is an American colloquial for a restlessness that avoids the food in front of you, here in the text greener pastures is shorthand for God’s provision that accounts for the natural limitations of our current moment. In our current historical moment, nostalgia abounds for bygone eras on both the right and the left. However, the psalm invites us to think about our future direction, because we are always in transition. What are the pastures to which God is leading you and your herd in this season? When does nostalgia threaten to starve you? God will help us transition.
Track 4: Beside Still Waters
23:2b he leads me beside still waters;
As the title track, Beside Still Waters meditates on the idea that we are being led by God. Water in Scripture functions as places of chaos and calm. Here in this passage the psalmist experiences God as bringing about the latter. My hope is that this loop brings us close to God’s gracious rest for our souls even as we navigate the chaos of our current historical moment. The calm we need comes from being unified with God. That is a union that we can experience through beholding God and experiencing God behold us back. May this track give you space to reflect on the kindness of God, whose hospitably sees us being harassed like sheep without a shepherd and bids us come to drink from the waters of eternal life. As chaos swirls around you, what do you have to let go of to feel more unity with God?
Track 5: Restores My Soul
23:3a he restores my soul.
This is one of my favorite tracks of the project because it is so patient. It was a good exercise in discipline to play this slowly. Doing so required patience and discipline, which reminded me of the slow work of God restoring us. The evil, sin, and death of the world subject our souls, the truest part of ourselves, to such brutality. There is much to be restored in each of us and in creation writ large, and God is patient to in doing so. Do you see the chaos and pain of this time as a place to have your soul restored? This track is here to patiently walk with you into your healing.
Track 6: Right Paths
23:3b he leads me in right paths for his name sake.
The text began with God leading us into stillness, and then it moves into righteousness. Another word for righteousness is justice, meaning that our being present to God naturally compels us to take action for justice in the world around us. We cannot have rich life with God devoid of ongoing attention to the grave injustices in the world around us. In fact, following God our shepherd helps us see those injustices and gives us insight on how to address them. With the pain in the world that Trump’s election amplifies, our stillness before God should lead us to partner with God in advocating for justice for those whom the system seeks to snuff out. May our retreat into the serenity of this record fuel you for the work that we have. I’m thankful to accompany you in this.
Track 7: I Fear No Evil
23:4b I fear no evil
Just because God leads us does not mean that we will not be near evil. We most certainly will. But when we come to those places of evil, if we keep our fear (reverence) for God, then we need not fear (revere) the evil that surrounds us in the valley of the shadow of death. This track’s initial title was focused on the shadow of death, but I decided to change it to instead focus on facing evil without giving it ultimate control over us. It is quite natural to physically and emotionally fear the evil that can come from the government. However, it is a powerful statement to say that not even the great evil from the world’s empires will make us ultimately reverence (fear) the government because we are in God’s flock. With this in mind, as we face the systemic oppression of the world, we can do so with more courage and conviction. What evil do you fear? Bring that to God while listening to this track and pray for God to make that evil a bit smaller in your mind’s eye. We can fear the pain that evil can bring us and others while still ultimately revering God.
Track 8: They Comfort Me
23:4d They Comfort Me
Shepherds typically have a rod or staff to protect sheep from predators (such as bandits or wolves). So when the psalmist says that God’s rod and staff comforts, that is to say that God’s protection from danger is a comfort. What kind of protection do you need from God in this season, and what comfort does that bring? We need emotional protection, intellectual protection, sexual protection, spiritual protection. God is trustworthy to give us those good boundaries. Do you feel that God’s rod and staff is keeping you away from danger and near the herd? What comfort does your community draw from being near the Shepherd in this perilous season?
Track 9: In the Presence of My Enemies
24:5a-b You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
This track was originally called “prepare a table.” I wanted to avoid the bit about enemies given the record was meant to induce peace. But then it occurred to me that this election season has been all about contending with enemies. I have often assumed this passage to mean that God prepares a table of bounty before my enemies whom God vanquishes. What a convenient read. It is far more challenging, though, and prophetic for our time, to think about God preparing a table for dining where my enemies and I sit, as if to say my enemies and I are both fed by the same God who is not only shepherd but also host.
In these harrowing days, it is easy to separate ourselves from the other who voted opposite us. To be fair, I know that I have a very hard time thinking of sharing much space with avid Trump supporters who stand by his bile. However, it is more humbling to remember that God hosts Trump supporters and me. This is not a Kum Ba Yah moment that papers over real differences. Trump will enact sexist, racist, ist ist ist policies that will afflict untold numbers of people. Nevertheless, no matter how vehement our differences, God is still the host of all creation. I pray that this track impels you to take prayerful action in these days to come from the vantage point that God sustains life of you and your political opposer/enemy.
Track 10: My Cup Overflows
Psalm 23:5c-d You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
This track speaks to the abundance of God in our lives. When we stop to think about it, the goodness of God in our lives should lead to an innumerable list of reasons to say thank you God. No matter the oppression you have experienced or are afraid you will experience in the new presidential regime, I pray that this record helps you remember the abundance mentality that is still present in God. Wars may come. Immigrants may be wrongly deported by the millions. The earth may get hotter. But we still have reason to say thank you for God’s abundance amidst that all. Gratitude amidst evil is an act of resistance.
Track 11: Surely Goodness and Mercy
Psalm 23:6a-b Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life
In the original Hebrew, the word for “follow” is used elsewhere to describe soldiers pursuing a military enemy. In the context of this Psalm, that means God’s prosperity and loving kindness are doggedly intent on finding us. That is such good news as we contend with our enemies and walk through the shadows of death. We need not give ultimate reverence to evil because God’s goodness and mercy will follow us.
But lest we think this is a prosperity gospel where material prosperity is promised us in this life, we would do well to remember that this text was written by people who were constantly embattled with foreign powers. Death was rampant and many people lived amidst great poverty. All to say, I do not know what God’s welfare will look like for you in this season, but I played this song for you with the fervent prayer that we can continually take stock of God’s goodness and mercy no matter our lot.
Track 12: In the House of the Lord My Whole Life Long
Psalm 23:6c-d and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
my whole life long.
This track is my closing prayer for us. I pray that we can orient ourselves towards living in God’s presence all the time. Of course, this is always already the case, whether we realize it. God’s closer than the air we breathe, and so it’s easy to attend ourselves to God’s presence. In the original context the house of the Lord would have meant a temple or synagogue, but we can now think of this as God being worshipped in our hearts. There is a sanctuary within each of us, and we can protect that from the toils and snares of the outer world. A life devoted to beholding God’s goodness is a life that is lived in God’s eternal presence. It is a life that transcends our death and opens onto all time. This is a lofty goal and fairly cerebral, but I believe it has real-life significance for those of us who face some form of death – physical, emotional or spiritual – as a result of the 2024 election.
My prayer is that you remember that eternity far outweighs this life. Again, that is not a way to abdicate responsibility to pursue charity and justice in this world. Rather it is a way to protect our perspective on what is of ultimate concern. The good news of Jesus, God’s anointed one, driving me in this resolute track is that God, though transcending our politics and religion, also came into our world to be crucified at the hands of both. Thankfully resurrection reminds us that God is not ultimately bound by our death, and that there is new life on the other side. May we live in God’s presence forever, holding fast in faith to this invitation to behold God’s presence. And as we behold God’s presence, may we live oriented towards the justice work that God has for us in this life as an outpouring of that love for God and for God’s creation.
What a gift it is to play for you. Thank you for listening.