Restraint as care

the humility of sickness

Hi everyone,

This week I tested positive for COVID, and Notes of Rest had to go notesin’ on me. At the writing of this, I was supposed to be in sunny Pasadena for a theological education conference. Man I was so excited for that joint - new friends from diverse theological backgrounds who are as intellectually generous as they are funny, rigorous conversation about the future of theological education, thoughtful prayer, and FIRE food.

Because the hang was to be so epic, I tried seeing if there was an ethical workaround for my predicament. After all, I had started showing symptoms on Saturday, so maybe I’d be good to still go on Thursday since my symptoms were mild. I knew my plan of desperation was probably dumb, but I figured I’d ask my wife Carmen, a physician, if I can go anyway. She, being wise and discerning as always, said of course not. Not only was Thursday still in the isolation window, there also was at least one person at the conference who we both knew was immunocompromised.

At that point I just had to laugh at myself. How ironic was this. The guy who wanted to attend a conference to talk about how schools needed to embody the rest of God in their curriculum was trying to resist the rest he, and his vulnerable colleagues(s), needed.

There are a few lessons I took from this. One, I thank God for a wise wife who sees dangers I cannot and who teaches me how to care for others. Two, I’m selfish. Three, God’s call to rest confronts our often misplaced desire to assert human agency. If I really wanted to practice Notes of Rest as a theological enterprise, the answer was not to do more, but less.

²¹ From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes and be killed and on the third day be raised. ²² And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” ²³ But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me, for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” Matthew 16:21-23

The impulse Peter had to save his teacher from death, the ultimate “doing less,” resonates. Optimize your day. Give more aid. Get more done. Save the Penguins! Save the Trees! Save the Children! Save the Negro! Ridden with anxiety and guilt, we often think that more is the de facto starting point. But Jesus modeled that the way to life is through death. What if Christians were marked not by doing excessively more, but through restraint?

When you rest, who else gets to rest too?

In honor of trying to do less in order to do more, here are some practices I am working out. I’m curious to hear if any resonate with you.

Treating meat as a delicacy, not a staple: The Earth will not sustain America’s grave obsession with meat. I am trying to respond by scaling way back on eating dead animals. It’s not a stringent rule, just a direction.

Limiting my emailing usage: I try to check only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. It allows me to be more present on those days to the people I engage through that form of communication.

Quarterly silent retreats: It is tremendously impactful to spend 10 hours once a quarter in the woods or at an active monastery in dead silence. I hear so much more.

Cooking more: Restraining the amount of times my family eats out helps shift priorities back towards fundamental human needs for connection to earth, to others, and to God. Check back in with me in a few years on this one, ha.

abundantly,

Julian

What’s Next

Feb 1 Notes of Rest at Olivet Nazarene University (Chicago)

Feb 1 Julian Davis Reid’s Circle of Trust at Hungry Brain (Chicago)

Feb 2-3 Marques Carroll Quintet at Andy’s Jazz Club (Chicago)

Feb 4 Julian Davis Reid’s Circle of Trust at First United Methodist of Oak Park (Chicago)

Feb 11 Notes of Rest at Barrington United Methodist Church (Chicago)

Feb 15 Notes of Rest at Saint Leonard’s Ministries (Chicago)

Feb 17 Notes of Rest at Dominican University for Black Students Retreat (Chicago)

Feb 24 Notes of Rest at St. Benedict the African (Chicago)

Feb 25 Isaiah Collier at Winterland Six (Jacksonville)

Bonus: Iron Man & the Need for Restraint

“They say there’s a correlation between generosity and guilt.”

Cover Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash