The Fermata Weekly: When Rest Doesn't Work

A Time with United Methodist Clergy in Pacific Northwest

Hi everyone,

A few weeks ago I was able to host Notes of Rest workshops for United Methodist clergy in the Pacific Northwest. They were some of the most raw sessions I have held to date in part because these pastors were very honest about the difficulties of rest. Two stories stand out.

One story came from a pastor who exclaimed she was three months into a sabbatical and didn’t feel rested. She still felt exhausted, and wondered if she was doing it wrong.

I felt the exhaustion on her face and heard it in the edginess in her voice. It made me realize that restlessness can be doubly painful for us when we try to slow down and still feel tired.

I didn’t have a silver bullet for her ills, but I did have compassion, the good news of Jesus that God came to give us rest abundantly for our souls, and the practices of Notes of Rest to offer her. Part and parcel of the logic of Notes of Rest is to help enact rest during the workshop, not just afterwards. Through sitting still, through focusing on God the giver of rest, through the hospitality I put into my voice as I read and speak, through my quiet, flowing playing, through the questions I ask about rest and the conversation I encourage about it, and through inviting people to trust their intuitions in the moment about what their body needs, I help move folk towards the restfulness God created us to receive.

I want to hone in on one of these practices: conversation. We need more spaces to talk intentionally about how rest isn’t working. For instance, I know people who struggle with insomnia and are ashamed to talk with others about the depths of their pain. I want to see churches, seminaries, universities, and companies not only implement policies about rest, but also host ongoing conversations about restful practices. After all, we give so much time to enshrining restlessness (e.g., workaholism, crass consumerism, social media addictions), which shows we can create spaces in which we prize different ends. As someone put it to me recently, God created rest as the cumulative act of creation, not humanity. It’s tragically ironic that Christian faith, therefore, has often been used as license to overwork.

I am thankful to say that by the end of my two days with that group of clergy, I saw that same rest-deprived pastor taking a nap on the pew. Look at The Lord!

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Another powerful story came from an immigrant to this country, who said he was never taught to rest. In fact, he said that rest was seen as an anathema to his presence in this country. His family had brought him here to work, not rest. He’s therefore had to unlearn this thought pattern over the years, and was thankful that Notes of Rest gave him space to celebrate that vulnerable journey of recovery.

I applauded the pastor for his bravery, but also lamented the problem he exposed. Here was a Brown man in a largely White room talking about his distorted relationship to work. It reminded me that core to this nation’s story is this problem of labor, particularly for non-White folk. Native Americans, Blacks, Latinx, and non-White Asians have all been subjected to forms of brutalized labor and often have had their identities tied to that (be it chattel slavery, migrant farming, or even being an engineer or doctor).

I pray that more of us can have the courage to speak up like these two pastors to say that rest isn’t working, either because rest cuts against our raison d’etre or because we don’t know how to do it. (A sidenote: Alex Soojung-Kim Pang in Rest talks about how workaholism was a term coined for pastors. My God.) May we have courage to call out the lies fueling restlessness for ourselves and for others. There is good news the world needs to hear!

abundantly,

Julian

P.S. I got Tricia Hersey’s book Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto and Cole Arthur Riley’s This Here Flesh. These two Black women are doing deep work in excavating the problems around restlessness and I’ve learned much from them already. Their books will continue to help me build out my vision for Notes of Rest.

Upcoming Events:

Big news! I am touring in Europe with Isaiah Collier and the Chosen Few for the next few weeks! This is my longest tour to date. Prayers are much appreciated. If you know folk in the area, by all means send them our way!

Oct 26 - Leipzig, Germany

Oct 27 - Salzburg, Austria

Oct 28 - Brussels, Germany

Oct 29 - Frankfurt, Germany

Oct 30 - Eindhoven, Netherlands

Nov 1 - London, UK

Nov 2 - Dresden, Germany

Nov 4 - Warschaw, Poland

Nov 5 - Berlin, Germany

Nov 6 - Tempere, Finland

Nov 7 - Wien, Austria

Nov 9 - Amsterdam, Netherlands

Nov 10 - Oslo, Norway

Nov 11 - Dortmund, Germany

Nov 12 - Hamburg, Germany