The windows we stand near
When rest heals families
New song!
I’m honored to have worked on Jamila Woods’ new song Wreckage Room on her new record Water Made Us out today.
Hi everyone,
One of the gifts of Notes of Rest is that I get to see families draw closer to each other and uncover places where restlessness has hurt relationship. Months ago I was sitting with undergrad students in Massachusetts and a brother and sister were there together. The sister was the younger sibling and I remember how fondly she looked at her older brother - a tender affection. But I remember the brother, who was nearing graduation and who was stressed about the prospects of postgraduate work, say that he in part worked so hard and felt such stress because of the example he wanted to set for his sister. He said this pensively, without a trace of resentment. If my memory serves correctly, he looked downwards as he spoke.
His admission slightly startled her, and she responded that she had no idea he lived with such pressure. Her look of love did not leave, but it was met with a tinge of sadness. In that room of 15 it was a privilege to witness in public so private a moment. The windows we stand near.
Last week at Notes of Rest I had a similar encounter. A mother and her adult daughter were in attendance for the all-day retreat. Towards the middle, the mother tearfully apologized to her daughter for having to work so hard while the daughter and her sister were growing up. She said that with her back against the wall she did the best she could the best she could. I remember the daughter looking downwards as she nodded acceptance of the apology. It was again a gift, again a moment holy. Rest was healing.
God is bringing me these memories today because I am traveling today for the first time for Notes of Rest in two months, the first trip since the birth of my Lydia. To be sure, I’m thankful to be here in Vancouver all weekend at St. Andrew’s Wesley as a performer tonight, keynote speaker tomorrow, and preacher Sunday. But to be here means I’m not home with my Carmen and my baby girl. I knew this day would come, and I know that it is part of my calling to travel, but the ground still rushes to meet me.
Professional musicians often live on the road, bringing repose and ease to other’ families while their own are back home. Kendrick Lamar wrestles with this tension publicly on the brilliant u. I find this juxtaposition ironic about such callings.*
Of course, many people have to travel for work to support their families back home. I am thankful to be able to do just that, and am thankful I have steadfast support in Carmen to do this. But as I see rest bring wholeness to other families, it is incumbent on me to seek the Holy Spirit’s direction for how to pursue the same for my own. Platform ministry such as mine lends itself easily to double standards. When present to many and known by few, I can preach one message but live another. This kind of double standard is too common in the late capitalism Christian entrepreneurial market we are in today, where everybody can be their own boss and pastor if they so choose.
I am hopeful that my communities of accountability, both to you my general readership and to my local communities of close family, friends, and church members, will yield a life with Jesus such that I can bring to my home the healing that Peter brought to his when he had Jesus heal his mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14-15). I welcome your prayers towards this end, and pray that rest brings your family God’s healing too.
abundantly,
Julian
*I noticed a similar irony when I was in Kenya this summer with my family at a resort and one of the waiters told me that they live at the resort for months at a time during which they can’t see their family. Isn’t it ironic they help Western families bond while they have to forego bonding with theirs so they can make money.
P.P.S. Octavia Raheem talks about rest and connection with families in her work “Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change”
What’s Next
Oct 16 Notes of Rest Virtual Class at Candler School of Theology Starts (4 weeks left)
Nov 1 The JuJu Exchange at City Winery Chicago
Nov 4 Julian Davis Reid’s Circle of Trust at Merit School of Music (Chicago)
Nov 8 Notes of Rest at Garrett School of Theology (Chicago)
Nov 9 Notes of Rest at Duke University Chapel
Nov 10-12 Isaiah Collier & The Chosen Few at the Jazz Showcase (Chicago)
Nov 16 Julian Davis Reid’s Circle of Trust at The Jazz Showcase (Chicago)